Neopets

Brother, 8, hours a day

a fictional magic life web site for children

which I used to play on as well.  I learned many wonderful things from Neopets,

like the best things are the ones you don't pay for,

figure out how to play the system because the number in the top

left corner of the screen is all you are. 

Neopoints; they are gold coins in pictures, but

the only time you see them

and how many you are is a little number

on the top left corner of the screen. 

You get paid to adopt and create the cute, funny-looking

little creatures called Neopets, but

if the furry cartoon animal (the people are all

furry little cartoon animals in Neopia)

is not cute enough, or does not turn

quite enough tricks, or does not fit

in your favorite outfit, you can send them

to an adoption clinic and be someone else.  All of the Garrrrllls, those

cute, two-dimesnional T-Rexes, the ones who looked awesome

to eight-year-old boys on their first day

of real play but who were mean, really mean in the end,

hang out, waiting for a new user, someone to love them. 

They ran out of names, each animal gets one name

so many of them have numbers.  And they are all red.  Abandones red dinosaurs,

waiting to wash away like the unwanted past information they are. 

Neo means new after all, and this is Neopia. 

Another important lesson I learned was that of patience. 

Handouts (food, money) were limited to three a day; they are expected. 

Rather than learning to drive a car with a keyboard, I learned the tricks,

how to cheat legally and amass vast hordes of cash. 

Originally it was just a website for games,

then an economy was created to further the company's goals, now games give you money,

now you need money so you must play games like to get useless carnival toys with tickets,

or you can every day log in and collect secret handouts. 

The whole world is a rainbow by the way, and the evil looking men

are just trying to get you excited for another product-placing game,

a new one every month to keep the children,

the eight-year-olds who live off handouts,

looking towards the future. 

Yes, shouldn't we all? 

Neopets teaches good life lessons to eight-year-olds. 

Yes, shouldn't we all treat flash video games like the hardest work,

indescribably important to have availible and also to avoid? 

and queue our red T-Rexes in adoption clinics? 

We are not the webmasters.  We are the children,

the consumers of the world.  We have no voice really,

no power.  And really; who knows if the

hordes of abandoned Garrrlllls

just go away after a while? 

I have a top left corner number of my own to maintain,

after all. 

-Citron